A case of the Mondays

I don't fully awaken until I arrive at school. Showering, dressing, packing a lunch, and (frighteningly) driving to school are all done automatically. As I passed the administration building I thought "Wow its is very dark, everyone must be having a hard time getting up this morning". As I pulled in my parking spot I was thankful to find salt had been spread and was again surprised at how few cars were there. (I am one of the early ones to school, but I am very rarely the first.) I walked to the door I normally go in and upon finding it locked thought "Wow, even the custodians are running late this morning". I than walked over to the main door and it too was locked. Then and only then did I even consider that school was closed. Silly me!

Q-Tips

Lindsey and I love to clean our ears with Q-Tips. Lindsey introduced me to the supreme Q-tip - the wooden stick. I have even developed the need to lick the Q-Tip before using it. Sometimes I only need to use one end of the Q-Tip to clean out an ear. The dilemma is what way to put the Q-Tip back into the jar. Do you put the used side down or the used side up?

what were they thinking

Today there was a meeting at school for students that are "at-risk." On characteristic of an at-risk student is poor attendance. They invited students to this assembly by delivering passes to the students in class. I had a hard time not laughing when I was asked to give an invitation to this meeting to a student I have not met. I hope they are going to try something different to reach these kids.

I have been bogged down this year with work related to my job, but not exactly my responsibility. When I interviewed for the assistant principal job I guess I sent the message that I want to work in the school, but outside of the classroom. In some ways that is correct. I want to make school a place that works for students. I get that done in my classroom (although never to my satisfaction), but I want the whole school to work. I hope its worth it. Schools don't work and everyone pays the price.

Interesting

I am watching the fox news coverage of the election results just to see what is being said. I just Carl (Karl?) Rove say that Obama was elected because most people have forgotten that there was a civil rights movement. He stated that "we have come so far..." in the recent years that people have forgotten that there was once a need for great social change.
I don't buy this. I think the correlation between "minority" and "low-income" shows that we haven't really come that far. I hear stories from students about being told to "go back to their neighborhood" and asked if they think the blacks are taking over the city (of Muskegon). I find it frightening that someone would say there is a racial gap in this country.
The election of a minority president will bring many opportunities for interesting conversations.

What should I be doing?

Whatever I am doing, I often feel like I should be doing something else. Here are some examples:
When grading papers, I think I should be making lesson plans
When making lesson plans, I think I should be grading papers
When sleeping, I think I should be awake
When awake, I think I should be sleeping
When lecturing in class, I think we should be doing an activity
When doing an activity in class, I think I should be lecturing
When watching TV, I should be reading, sleeping, doing yard chores, blogging, checking my emails, ...
When working on Jaely's built-in, I should be spending time with Lins and Jaely

Lindsey has been asking me (not nagging as she claims) to post about the built-ins progress. I finally completed the Katamino level I was working on while she was blogging and its not quite time to feed Jaely yet, so here is an update:

Before last year, I would never describe myself as "creative." Creative people have always left me awestruck. I realized through working on the built-in project that I am creative. I have heard that science is a creative endeavor, and now I see what that means. Through working on this project and thinking about how scientific knowledge is built, I understand that to be creative is part of being human. Anyways, on to the progress...

The dresser started as a stack on cherry boards that were sorted, selected, and milled to the proper sizes. I spent a few weekends this winter working on that. After the boards were the right size and flat, the joints had to been laid out. Then came the cutting and fitting of the joints. Much of the winter was spent on this work. The result was a stack of pieces that needed to be put together to make the dresser/changing table skeleton.
I did not spend much time working on this project between the end of March and the middle of June. Although getting this done is important, something seemed to swallow up every spare moment. The next step was to get the all the pieces lined up. This drive Lindsey nuts because it goes together and comes apart about 5 times before I am ready to attach all the parts together.
Once everything was attached, I started the finishing process. This involved lots of scraping and sanding and looking and feeling and then more sanding. Next I started the finish with Danish oil
Now I have t0 wait a few days for the oil to dry before then urethane can go on. I still have to make the drawers (I started sorting the lumber for those today before our trip to GH and the Katamino distraction). The continous hinge for the toy box/window seat arrived today so now I can fix the mistake I made there. Overall, the project is getting close to done. It won't be really done until the carpet is tacked back done and the trim is replaced, so we will see...

Summer Time

Today we made a great trip to the Montague Farmers market and returned with tastes of summer.I love the way strawberries are sweet but tart. Michigan berries are always so much more flavorful than ones shipped in from far away. I especially love eating the slightly bruised and damaged berries. What is about bruises that bring the best out of things?

I have been given an interesting question to ponder: Would a propeller work in outer space? I think I have an answer, but I need to reconcile the propeller idea with the technology of solar sails.

Freezer Disaster

I have been withholding this story for about a month. It was too painful to tell, but I have healed enough to share this...

The story starts with my inability to wait for a can of soda to cool off in the fridge. Instead I placed the can in the freezer and...
The worst part isn't that I never drank the Cherry Coke Zero. The worst part is that I discovered the explosion of soda in the freezer as we were leaving for my parents house for the weekend. I hastily scooped the can and some of the frozen pop out and left most of the mess to clean up when we returned. When we returned I found that the freezer door was slightly ajar. To make a long story short: not only did the soda get cleaned out of the freezer, but I had a chance to go through alot of old frozen food and I even got to throw out some newly frozen food as well. There is nothing like arriving at home after a 3 hour drive and spending the next 2 hours cleaning out a defrosted freezer.

Hopefully I have learned my lesson.

Lindsey speak

Occasionally, really more often than you think, Lindsey uses the wrong word in a sentence. The funniest part is that she often doesn't realize what she has done until I give a blank stare. Here are some examples:
Oh look, that strip mall is getting a lampshade.
She sudafeds water in some recipes.
I need to empty that garbage soon anyway, its full of dynamite.

Something to make you wonder

This is my breakfast from Thursday morning. This picture was take at 9 PM Thursday night. Yeah, that sums up my week so far.

Laws

I don't get it. I understand much of the science on how and why the human body works the way it does, but I still don't get it. At one point in my life I was sure that everything could be reduced to a set of logic laws. Not laws as in rules, but scientific/mathematical laws. Thankfully that system of understanding failed me and I know in my head that life is far too complex to be governed by a set of laws no matter how complex the laws are. But at the core of my being I am always searching for laws to govern at least parts of my life.
Each change in my life has brought this search for laws to the surface in different ways: High School, Church, College(s), Leaving Home, Getting Married, Teaching, and now Parenting have each revealed the search for laws on a different plane.
I cannot (and will never be able to) comprehend how a baby grows from 2 cells into a complete human being. I know the science, but to know that all those laws work to knit a person together is unfathomable. And that's just thinking about the physical parts of a person. Where does the personality come from? How does Jaely know what she knows (and what exactly does she know)?
So back to the laws/rules idea: Even though I know that life is too complex for laws/rules, I still want them. I want the same actions on my part to have the same reactions for Jaely. I want to be able to predict that she will do Y when I do X. Instead I find that Jaely does M, N, and/or O when I do X. Oh well, I knew that the laws were never going to work anyway, but it is still a shock to find that they don't.
At the end of each day I am thankful that meaning in my life no longer comes from laws, but from the complexity of relationships.

Long Time, No Posts

So its been a while since I have sat down to put thoughts up here, that doesn't mean I haven't had any. Much of my creative energy has gone into my job and creating the furniture for Jaelynne's room. I always thought that I am not a creative person, but I was confusing "creative" with "artistic". I still don't think I am a very artistic person.
I decided to post today because I am overwhelmed with feelings. I am not an emotional person, but arrival of Jaely has done something to me. I know that every adjective to describe my feelings are woefully inadequate. I know I have been blessed by God with an awesome gift, but also an awesome responsibility. I don't feel that I am worthy of the gift or capable of meeting the responsibility. This has left me even more emotionally raw.
I just witnessed a beautiful sight: Lindsey, Jaely, and Grandma (or Nana) all asleep making wonderful little sighs/snores.
God, thanks for the beautiful, sweet, delicate, and strong girls in my life.

The rest of the story

At Daniel's Prompting, here is the rest of the story:
I got home from school hoping to be there to load Lindsey's scrapbooking materials in her car. Instead I got home in time to get her call. For some mysterious reason, she couldn't get the key to turn in the ignition. I gave her the suggestion of turning the steering wheel to "unlock" the ignition and told her that I would drive up to doctor's office if I didn't see her soon. I thought "I better leave right now" as soon as I hung up the phone, so I did. I soon arrived in the parking lot just before Lindsey starting kicking her car. Within 1 minute I had the car started and we were ready to go.
I had forgot that Lindsey is an excellent direction follower. She knew to turn the wheel, but had never been told to turn the wheel and the key at the same time. So, now we have cell phones and Lindsey has a new direction to follow.
I am reluctant to post this because I love the way Lindsey attacks the world. I love her innocence and her confidence that I can fix almost anything. I will end this post by sharing with all of you that Lindsey once received a similar phone call from her mom.
Her mom was stranded at school because she could not get the key to turn in her car. Lindsey, George(her stepdad), and I drove to Lynne's school to try to fix the problem. The drive to the school was about an hour and we spent another hour trying to get the key to turn. This was not the same problem. It ends up that Lynne's gargantuan key ring had stressed the ignition to the point that I would no longer turn. The car had to be towed and fitted with a new ignition (Not a cheap thing). From then on Lindsey and her mom were very careful about the size of their key rings.

Step 1 completed

I have finally finished the first part of getting the nursery built-ins done. The silly thing is this isn't even going in the house and the little one may never appreciate it. Oh well, it was a good learning experience and will serve me well for a long time.

The legs and stretchers are made from 8/4 and 12/4 maple (20 bdft of each). I am really happy with how my bandsaw cut through the thick stock. The top is a butcher block work surface that is 24" wide and 8 feet long. It is 2 1/4 inches thick and weighs alot (it was really fun to get out of the car).

The left end has the vise. The vise is the part I am the least happy with. It was darn near impossible to get it even, straight, and square. In the end it is pretty close, but I will always know it is uneven.

I had to re-arrange the garage stuff to make everything fit. I was able to fit all the wood for the project under the bench. It gave it even more mass to keep it stable. I have the sheet stock standing up against the wall so Lindsey can hopefully park her car in the garage when the snow comes.

The next step is to prep the room, and then the real fun begins.

Into the Wild

I just finished re-reading one of my favorite books (if you read this for long enough you may notice that every book i finish becomes my favorite). Into the Wild is a wonderful look at life. I would say it is far superior to Wild at Heart and addresses many of the same ideas.
I had to finish the book tonight because tomorrow is October 1. It would have been Lynne's 60th birthday. I remember telling her and Lindsey about this book when I read it the first time. Lynne read it right away and then read it to her high school English classes.
I really miss Lynne and the house on Echo. I miss her cough and her smell. I miss coming in the door to a one armed hug because the other hand was holding a cigarette. I miss the constant pouring and making of coffee. I miss being told "you have to have gravy on it!" I miss little bowls of seasonal candy (especially gummy hearts at Valentines Day). I miss her smile when her nose wrinkled up and her eyes squinted. I miss driving her car to the airport to get Jason for the Holidays. I miss the whole family being together and the "hell" Jered and Jason would give Lindsey (they still do that and it is still hard to not join in). I miss apple pies, chocolate cookies, gravy, stuffing, broccoli and chicken. I miss 8 chefs in a kitchen built for 1 and loving every minute of it. I miss being told to "Go look at the garden" when first arriving and the hope for a quick return when leaving.
As the arrival of baby Ellis gets closer and closer, it seems impossible that Lynne never had the chance to be Grandma Lynne. It definitely would have suited her.

Amazing

As I unloaded wood from the truck today I thought how strange it is that these things that grow in the ground, give us shade, drop acorns in my truck and leaves on the lawn can be turned into furniture. My wood order was delivered from Charlotte. The wood is beautiful. Pics can be found an the baby ellis blog. Here is a picture of the "shop" and the maple that will become my woodworking bench. Only 186 working nights left!



PS: a 20 bdft hunk of 12/4 maple is very heavy and impossible to rip by yourself.

There's a giraffe in my driveway

I came home from school yesterday and tried to park in the driveway, but someone had beat me there. I could believe but there was a stinkin' giraffe right where I usually park. You will be sad to know that it wasn't a REAL giraffe. It was one of facsimile giraffes that Lindsey has collected. We have been looking for a new home for this guy because his old home is being turned into a nursery for baby Ellis. I will be laughing about the giraffe in my driveway for weeks to come!

The journey to belong

the need to belong is the driving force behind so many of my actions. I am blessed to have had places to belong that have not required much effort on my part. Even in the times when I was convinced that I was unwanted and isolated, I was eventually pulled back to the places I belonged before I made an unfortunate and life ending decision.
I just finished pictures of hollis woods by Patricia Reilly Giff. What an amazing story of one girls journey (I'll try not to ruin it for those who read it). This reminds me of the importance of loving the "un-lovables" and that we are never so broken that we can't be repaired.

End of Summer

I know that school doesn't start until September...
I know that summer has been a great time to rejuvenate...
But I am not ready to start back.
I really need to get going on school things so this year can have a smooth start, but I am not looking forward to my job this year.
I am excited to meet my new students. I am excited when I think about all the learning and growing that I will be apart of this year. I am not excited to bring all this stress back into my mind.
I am thankful for my job, but the responsibilities seem overwhelming.
All right, Physics, Astronomy, Webpage Design, here I come.

Fun Music

I was in Schuler Books a couple of weeks ago. I always wander through the music section. I heard this cd of guitar music playing and had to check it out. It is one of the best albums i have ever listened to: Rodrigo Y Gabriela

Empathy Sucks!!

I am getting frustrated by my empathy while at the same time I am thankful for it. There was a time, not too long ago, that i decided feelings were all worthless and just got the way of the truth. I didn't know what that truth was, but I was sure that they just got in the way. Unfortunatly, this meant all people we unimportant because any relationships involved feelings, and that was counterproductive. I am pretty sure that my interest in Physics was fueled by this belief. Thankfully God continued to seek me as a ran from him yelling over my shoulder to leave my alone.

I understand now that truth (and life) can only exist in relationships that deal with feelings. I wish that instead of being able to understand the connections between people's feelings and the actions/events in their lives that I could fix some of the broken junk. I wish I could sacrifice some empathy (heck all of it) for some action.